It’s difficult for me to grasp that Kevin has died. He was such a careful person who took such good care of himself. No matter how much we try to take control of our lives, there is only so much control that we actually have. When our friends die in what feels to us, before their time, this truth hits home.
Anyone who knew Kevin knows that he was a quiet, solitary man. But, for some reason, he reached out to me and I, in turn, reached out to him. Being a director of a school, I thought Kevin would be good for our school, particularly good for the other students, and I was right. He was. I thought this because he was well read in Alexanders’ work and articulate about Alexanders’ ideas. Clearly, he had already studied a great deal, on his own, and had made Alexanders’ work part of his life. I wanted my other students to have the benefit of knowing a person who was so self-motivated and self-sufficient, who could figure things out by himself, and who was disciplined in applying what he figured out to his life. We all learned from him.
But for being the solitary person that Kevin was, he did reach out to us. In his measured way, he was very generous. I think he loved feeling himself as part of a community who welcomed him. He always offered teaching his yoga classes during our retreats. We enjoyed these classes and learned from the way in which he taught. He was keenly observant, and though he used his hands sparingly, when he did, they were remarkably accurate and effective. He reminded me of that story about the plumber who taps a water pipe twice in one spot, gets the entire system working perfectly, and then charges his customer $600. When the customer asked why so much, the plumber says, “I am only charging you $1.00 for the tap, but $599.00 for knowing where and how to tap. Kevin was precise, like this.
Kevin would have also liked the joke. That was another way he enjoyed reaching out. In performances and at graduations he would allow himself to be quite goofy, in his very British way, which we all loved. There were times when he was truly funny. Sometimes there was a playful bite to his humor, but always it was done with consideration.
I respected Kevin. He had integrity. He was true to himself. He was who he was. He was a friend, and I will miss him.