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Enlightenment

Rusty The Dog

Excerpts From A Dog’s Diary

November 12,

8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 PM – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 PM – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

November 13

8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 PM – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

1:30 PM – ooooooo… Bath. Bummer.

4:00 PM – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM – OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary

DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh
meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only
thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat 
another house plant.

DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by 
weaving around their feet while they were walking 
almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
 stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these 
vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
 on their favorite chair…must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the 
headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I 
am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their 
hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a 
good little cat I was…Hmmm. Not working according to 
plan.

DAY 768 – I am finally aware of how sadistic they are.
 For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture.
This time however it included a burning foamy chemical
 called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a 
liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb 
still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 – There was some sort of gathering of their 
accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the 
event. However, I could hear the noise. More 
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to 
MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and
 how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 – I am convinced the other captives are 
flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely 
released and seems more than happy to return. He is
 obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has 
got to be an informant, and speaks with them
 regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due 
to his current placement in the metal room his safety 
is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of 
time…… 


 

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