Soon I will be moving from the house in which I lived for four lonely years. Already I’ve given away hundreds of books, books I think others may need more than I now need them. Some books I am choosing to keep, mostly for their titles. Books are entitled. Someone entitled them. And I need those titles. I need to walk by them and catch them out of the corner of my eye.
The Way It Is – William Stafford
Crossing To Safety –William Stegner
Gravity and Grace – Simone Weil
Moon In A Dewdrop – Dogen
The Cloud of Unknowing – Unknown
Genesis – Unknown
The Ancient Child – N. Scott Momaday
In Praise Of Shadows – Junichiro Tanizaki
The Soul’s Code – James Hillman
Yes, I silently say to my books. Right. Thank you. I remember.
There are four books written by F.M. Alexander, whose work I have devoted my entire adult life toward understanding, the titles of which do not now, nor have they ever spoken to me. I choose to keep those books out of respect to the man and his work.
It’s possible I’ve completely misunderstood Alexander’s work. It might be the rebel within just looking for a cause. I know him all to well. And it could be that, maybe, after 40 years of loving inquiry I’ve crossed over. I’ve made it to the other side.
Alexander’s book entitled, Man’s Supreme Inheritance, is for me, Towards A Luminous Poverty.
Thanks to Alexander, I’ve come to understand that the less I become, the more I am. When I am nothing, when I am empty, light stands in my place.
Alexander’s book entitled, The Universal Constant In Living, I refer to as, Uncertainties.
Thanks to Alexander, I see how I can never know, for certain, what is right.
Alexander’s book entitled, Constructive Conscious Control Of The Individual, is now, The Grace Of Sense.
Thanks to Alexander, I’ve come to understand how little control I actually have over my life, over the things of this world. But I also know that I can choose to open myself to the grace of sense.
Alexander’s book entitled, The Use Of The Self, now reads, No One In Particular.
Thanks to Alexander, I’ve come to understand that it is not myself that I seek to know, but what is not myself that I wish to receive.
Now it is time to pack.
Time to say thank you, and goodbye to this kind house.
Time to say thank you and hello to a place unknown.